Petrolheads

[Tomaz]

Dit lijstje kwam ik pas tegen op internet. Het gaat erover of je je ermee kan identificeren en dus een petrolhead bent. Ik zeg; Proud to be a petrolhead!

You Are Probably a
Petrol Head if:

ï The exhaust emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull into their bay.

ï Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.

ï You are afraid to drive your car.

ï Your 'significant other' refuses to even ride in your car.

ï You spend more on tyres than on food.

ï Your local council decides not to re-pave your street with that new rubberised tarmac because you've already 'done such a good job.'

ï You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.

ï Your insurance company had to create a whole new table to cover you and your vehicle.

ï You have ever argued with your wife over making the mortgage payment or buying that new set of extractors while they're still on sale.

ï Your local city council has passed a law making it illegal for you to even enter a school-zone unless you are on foot.

ï Traffic advisories are issued over the radio whenever your car is spotted during rush-hour.

ï You have to go to the race track to buy petrol.

ï Your mechanic names the new extension to his workshop after you.

ï You have speed shops on your telephone and mobile speed-dial.

ï You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.

ï You refer to the intersection at the end of your street as turn # 1.

ï You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 60 zone but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the bonnet."

ï News footage of cops chasing you is used as a training video at your local police academy.

ï You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.

ï Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.

ï You need parachute braking.

ï There is no possible way to "sneak out of your neighbourhood at 6 am.

ï Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened.

ï Fuel is delivered to your home in 55 gallon drums.

ï You wear earplugs in your car.

ï You find out that stock side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 235 km/h.

ï Your exhaust pipes are a larger diameter than your leg.

ï Your fuel pump can be used to water a golf course.

ï Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.

ï You measure the fuel you use in litres per kilometre".

ï The local airport complains about the noise coming from your garage on Saturdays.

ï The fire department has ever showed up at your house because alarmed neighbours reported smoke billowing from your garage.

ï You consider ABS and traction control as options for the 'driving impaired.'

ï You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.

ï You feel compelled, on a road trip, to beat your previous best time.

ï You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing depth and the wear bars are showing.

ï When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.

ï When you hear 'overcooked it, instead of food you think off the track.

ï You change engine oil every other week.

ï You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.

ï Your racing budget is one of the big three -- mortgage, car payments / maintenance, girls.

ï Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you.

ï You've paid £2.00 a litre for petrol without complaining.

ï You buy new parts because you can't remember where you put the spares.

ï You bought a race car before buying a house.

ï You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.

ï You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbours are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.

ï You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tyres that could have been purchased.

ï You sit in your car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.

ï Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.

ï You have enough spare parts at home to build another car.

ï More than one parts supplier recognises your voice and greets you by name when you phone.

ï You have car parts at work.

ï You're registered for wedding gifts at Auto Parts and Racing Wholesale outlets.

ï Your Christmas list begins with "another set of GB 411-154s and Pauter rods, and your 'significant other' knows what they are.

ï You have a separate drawer for garage clothes'.

ï The reading material in your bathroom consists of auto parts and racing supply catalogues, several books written by famous drivers, and 400 car magazines, none of which have centrefolds.

ï You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.

ï Your first date with a new girl is asking her to crew for you.

ï Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto repair skills. Air tools optional.

ï Your family remembers, your hair colour as ìgrease" or "oil-coloured".

ï You plan Your wedding around the shows, swapmeets and race schedules.

ï You astound the manager at Volkspares by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every other week or so.

ï You remember the reg numbers and detailed engine specs of every car you've ever owned, but can't remember your phone number.

ï Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.

ï A neighbour asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or mineral?" and they reply, "No, sunflower or olive."

ï You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.

ï You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.

ï Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.

ï You always do a toe & heel downshift while whoever might be your passenger gives you a real funny look.

ï You can't stand understeer.

ï You always want to change something in your daily driver street car to make it handle better.

ï You've ever tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to fix the air filter on her station wagon.

ï You save broken car parts as "mementos".

ï Your last several motorway forays included just brushing the curbs as you apexed the on-ramps perfectly.

ï You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't particularly care for alcohol).

ï The local tire shop won't honour the tread life warranty on any car you have been within 50 yards of

ï The shop manager at your local car dealer mutters 'Dear Lord" under his breath after he sees the size of your exhaust piping.

ï The local police and Highway Patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.

ï You spend more time polishing your exhaust tip every day than you do showering.

ï Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have timeslips.

ï You would choose a rollbar over air conditioning if it were an option.

ï You enjoy driving through wet, empty parking lots and using the emergency brake to kick the back end out.

ï White smoke coming out from under your tyres is a common sight.

ï You consider the redline a "conservative suggestion" and the rev limiter "a fun limiter"

ï Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal final drive ratio for given situations.

ï When someone refers to ìThe Good Book", you think of the Gene Berg catalogue.

ï You own five cars and only one of them is street legal.

ï You know the 1/4 mile times and skid, pad numbers of your riding mower and want to improve them.

ï You've embarrassed your significant other at least once by insisting on wearing your full face helmet while driving.

ï You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.

ï You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.

ï You regularly live test your rev limiter on that straight that's a little too long for 2nd but not worth going into 3rd for.

ï You've started looking for sponsors for your daily commute.

ï After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on your holiday she answers: 'Why... is there a race there?"